Ladies:You Better Get Your Chair!.
via Ladies:You Better Get Your Chair!.
Here is my response:
While I always try to make things as equitable I have to ask, do you want to get laid at some point or not? Let’s say I meet two different men. I have great chemistry with both of them. They have similar backgrounds, experiences, etc. One pays for nights out, opens doors, pulls out my chair, helps me with my coat, etc. the other doesn’t. I can tell you who I’d be spending my time with. The thing is, that kind of chivalry, breeds a reciprocal environment. I’m not saying she will hop in the sack right off because you were on good behavior, women are lying if they say that it doesn’t earn a man points. (See pastor Mark Gungor’s youtube video, How to stay married and not kill anybody. He goes into how women give “points” and he’s right, if you are christian or not.)
As far as equality playing into it, if we actually had equality it might be a different story. It has been 148 years since we ended slavery and 143 years since black men got the right to vote and we certainly don’t have equality in that arena, it has only been 93 years since women earned the right to vote. Anyone who thinks we have somehow created equality is kidding themselves. We have created the illusion of access to equality.
Back to the topic of dating, keep the first few dates inexpensive. Go do stuff that gives you the opportunity to interact in the world. Make the meal and take it along for the second date (not on the first though, we don’t know if you are trying to poison us, by the second date we are far more trusting). There are usually plenty of clues letting you know if the woman is taking advantage or not. Pay attention and cut the rotten ones loose.
I am currently under the impression that God doesn’t understand the comma. When I asked God for someone to sleep next to me at night, help around the house, love me, make love to me, be my partner etc He interpreted that as: Someone to sleep next to me at night. Someone to help around the house. Someone to love me. Someone to make love to me. Someone to be my partner. He seems to have missed that I wanted this all in one person, not individual qualities in a series of people. I still trying to figure out how to convey all of this to the big guy…I’m a bit concerned that he just has a twisted sense of humor. He did give me someone to sleep net to.
I realized this last night as my youngest child once again had their knees, elbow, head planted firmly in my kidneys throughout the night. At one point I woke up and I had been forced over t the point that we were sideways in the bed. As I lay there I was trying to go back to sleep and rationalize NOT pushing the child, oops, onto the floor. I decide to see if I gained anything from this situation.
I’m warmer. The kid is a little furnace. I am always an ice-cube. I totally take advantage of my child’s ability to keep me a few degrees warmer. This child is also not a good sleeper. I benefit by this kid sleeping through the night. Further explanation here is warranted. My youngest child is disabled. This child has autism and is nonverbal. When I say this helps them sleep through the night I really mean I don’t have to clean up as many messes in the morning and I don’t have to worry about this child escaping the house and trotting down the middle of the highway in the middle of the night as much. I don’t have to worry about this kid “feeding” the animals in our home in the middle of the night…I really do benefit a great deal.
However, when I actually try to get up in the morning my kidneys are so sore it’s not a fair trade.
Ok, I’ve been on my own for almost 10 years so CLEARLY I need some help here ;-). When in the dating procedure is it ok to tell a guy you want them? (Yes, It is a procedure. It is a painful series of steps that you have to get just right…and I never do.) Common sense tells me that men are happy to hear that a woman wants to have sex with them at any point, but if it is too early on does it give the wrong impression? I went with sometime after you are having sex. I can’t help but think that if the timing isn’t just so it may be a relationship killer.
Now, I have absolutely no quantifiable evidence of this. It just seems that it’s something that falls into the realm of men’s double standard peculiarities. I would love for men to comment on this. (I will tally it up and not do statistical analysis on it…just for fun.)
I’m sitting here, a bit horny and two glasses of wine in, and I’m thinking I’ve been living alone for almost 10 years. Now, I’ve stayed over at my boyfriend’s house here and there; and he here occasionally (when I have had one). For the most part I feel that I have missed out on nightly nookie (or at least the potential access to it) and cuddling for 10 years.
I hear women who say they are just fine being single, and I am to a point. I think it’s utter B.S. though that they don’t miss having someone next to them night after night. Maybe some women really would rather have a separate bedrooms from their hubbies or live-ins. I did hate sleeping next to my ex husband, but he was mean and would elbow me out of bed. I “get” not wanting to sleep next to something like that. For me, at least 1/4 of the desire for a relationship is having someone next to you at night, even when they aren’t in the mood for cuddling or nookie.
I absolutely crave touch. I think we all do. I miss a hand on the waist as he walks past and other small touches in passing. Sleeping next to a partner though, that is a drug for me. That has probably kept me in a bad relationship or two longer than it should have. Even if it was sporadic, knowing that later in the week I could curl up next to him. Give me a man who truly cuddles, holy crap! I’m an idiot. My blood pressure drops ridiculously low and I would do just about anything for a man who really knows how to cuddle.
So you crazy women, who go on and on about how it’s easier to be on your own, go ahead and be alone. That just leaves me with more options!