Acceptance

I just want to run away for a while. Be someone else somewhere else. Escape from mediocre me and all of my responsibility. If I could leave my physical pain behind for a while, or just get others to understand it that would be nice. To not have my “friends” roll there eyes when they read a post like this. I’m tired of people telling me I am a strong single mom, because I’m not, and it doesn’t have shit to do with my faith or the lack there of. I’m fucking tired. Beat down, wore down, pitiful excuse for a human being…because it never fails that the moment I think I am making progress there is someone who supposedly cares there to make me feel like the tiniest piece of shit ever. I have never claimed to be anything other than mediocre at best. If you and I meet in a dating situation I would tell you this when you asked what I was good at or what my talents were. I have none! I lost the ability to sing years ago and it was average when it was good. I am miserable housekeeper; average cook; I sew, but not every well; everything I do I pretty much flop at. I have a good heart and I can carry on a conversation and I am kinda pretty and love fiercely and I am so tired of that not being enough. Being accepted for more than a while would be nice. Until then, I want to run away for a while. Pretend to be something I’m not. Make those I meet along the way fall in love with someone who does not exist except for in that moment. For if I have any talent, this is it and I will subsist on the love  of those moments until I find those  who will simply accept me.