I’ve been away for so long

I’m not certain why I abandoned this project nearly a year ago. Probably had to do with my teen aged psychopath of a daughter, and major depression that followed some of her serious behavior. I believe that 15 is the age that all children lose their ever loving minds. I believe this because my son is now 15, a complete idiot, and determined to engage in activities that will get him killed or get him time in juvenile detention. And it’s stupid crap, not stuff fun enough or bad enough to be worth the damn risk. I tried to prepare them for this. I tried to explain what was going to happen to their little brains during puberty.

“When you enter puberty your hormones are going to go crazy and your frontal lobe is going to barely function at all. The frontal lobe is where logical/rational thought processes take place, yours will become retarded for a while. This is why teenagers are too stupid to date.”

“Are you saying we are stupid? Mom, I can’t believe you. We aren’t retarded.”

“It isn’t your fault, all teenagers go through this. You are going to think I am a complete moron; you will be full of emotion; an you will be mad about everything…or in love…or full of contempt…but whatever it is it will be strong, and without good reason and it will consume you and this is why teenagers are too stupid to date. It’s ok, you should grow out of it and it doesn’t mean that you are any less. It’s part of being a teenager.”

“Oh my God, Mom, why do you talk to us like this?”

“Because I want you to know why you hate me when it’s time and I want to be able to look at you and say, Do you remember when I said you would be retarded for a while? This is what I meant!”

I really thought this conversation would help.

I was wrong.

For anyone about to get mad that I used the “R” word, I have a severely mentally disabled child and this is an appropriate use of a medical term.