Acceptance

I just want to run away for a while. Be someone else somewhere else. Escape from mediocre me and all of my responsibility. If I could leave my physical pain behind for a while, or just get others to understand it that would be nice. To not have my “friends” roll there eyes when they read a post like this. I’m tired of people telling me I am a strong single mom, because I’m not, and it doesn’t have shit to do with my faith or the lack there of. I’m fucking tired. Beat down, wore down, pitiful excuse for a human being…because it never fails that the moment I think I am making progress there is someone who supposedly cares there to make me feel like the tiniest piece of shit ever. I have never claimed to be anything other than mediocre at best. If you and I meet in a dating situation I would tell you this when you asked what I was good at or what my talents were. I have none! I lost the ability to sing years ago and it was average when it was good. I am miserable housekeeper; average cook; I sew, but not every well; everything I do I pretty much flop at. I have a good heart and I can carry on a conversation and I am kinda pretty and love fiercely and I am so tired of that not being enough. Being accepted for more than a while would be nice. Until then, I want to run away for a while. Pretend to be something I’m not. Make those I meet along the way fall in love with someone who does not exist except for in that moment. For if I have any talent, this is it and I will subsist on the love  of those moments until I find those  who will simply accept me.

One word that can make you want to punch a man in the face

I had been dating someone and he would call me baby. The way he did it made me want to drop my panties on the spot. I found this so odd. Some men do it and it makes you cringe, others it is sweet and endearing. So like in all things I had to message a friend about this to see if I was alone in this.

Me

Why is it that when some men call you baby it’s a total turn off and others it’s totally fucking hot…and I mean men that you are dating….seems weird….some guys say and it creeps me out, others it’s causes more of a bed me now reaction..

J

Ummm….great question because you’re so right on about it!

Me

I just don’t get it

Cuz some guys say it and you want to punch them

J

Bad.

And then run.

Like it makes u literally ill.

Me

lol, yep

 

I can only assume that it has to do with underlying attraction and animal magnetism. My current fella says “baby” and I want to curl up into his arms and stay there forever, or until I need to pee. Which seems to be the best reaction. Sorry for the sappy. That is just where I am right now. I know; it’s revolting! Anyway, it isn’t just me!

Soulmates

This made me cry this morning. I have had two people come into my life recently that have really helped me see myself. Just in being who they are…I have had a few in my life. Some were romantic relationships, others were not. Sometimes they stay in your life for years, sometimes for a moment. But you know who they are because they change you in a radical way. You feel your own love resonating  within, and you are changed forever.

soul mate

 

 

Ladies:You Better Get Your Chair!

Ladies:You Better Get Your Chair!.

via Ladies:You Better Get Your Chair!.

 

Here is my response:

While I always try to make things as equitable I have to ask, do you want to get laid at some point or not? Let’s say I meet two different men. I have great chemistry with both of them. They have similar backgrounds, experiences, etc. One pays for nights out, opens doors, pulls out my chair, helps me with my coat, etc. the other doesn’t. I can tell you who I’d be spending my time with. The thing is, that kind of chivalry, breeds a reciprocal environment. I’m not saying she will hop in the sack right off because you were on good behavior, women are lying if they say that it doesn’t earn a man points. (See pastor Mark Gungor’s youtube video, How to stay married and not kill anybody. He goes into how women give “points” and he’s right, if you are christian or not.)

As far as equality playing into it, if we actually had equality it might be a different story. It has been 148 years since we ended slavery and 143 years since black men got the right to vote and we certainly don’t have equality in that arena, it has only been 93 years since women earned the right to vote. Anyone who thinks we have somehow created equality is kidding themselves. We have created the illusion of access to equality.

Back to the topic of dating, keep the first few dates inexpensive. Go do stuff that gives you the opportunity to interact in the world. Make the meal and take it along for the second date (not on the first though, we don’t know if you are trying to poison us, by the second date we are far more trusting). There are usually plenty of clues letting you know if the woman is taking advantage or not. Pay attention and cut the rotten ones loose.